just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
