I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
