Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
