whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
