Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
