I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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