I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
