his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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