Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
