yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You need a sexual gate keeper
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
