Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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