its not stalking. its research.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
