Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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