R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he puts the penis in happiness.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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