dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
