I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize