So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
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Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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