All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
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