3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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