I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Let's paint friendship bongs
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
