chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You smell like stripper and shame
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just googled if crying burns calories
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
