she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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