Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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