Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
