i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
