yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
