Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
