i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
