we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
