Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
