physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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