i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
