VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
