I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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