what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
