dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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