she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
