it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
