i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
