i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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