U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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