are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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