that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
