so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize