There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
