i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
