mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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