And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
