I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
