i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
