still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
