Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
