she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
