VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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