I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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