I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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