he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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