But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
