"it" just moved
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
