Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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