oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
