We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
